Overthinking? Obsessive thoughts? Anxiety? Self-doubt?
All of the above conditions, are a normal part of life, but for many of us they become all that life is.
It can be so frustrating, to try to focus on growing, achieving, and becoming more successful when we have these nagging thoughts that say “you don’t have the gifts to be successful… You’re not attractive enough to get a great partner… You’re too old to accomplish x… You don’t have enough money to accomplish y…“ And the list goes on and on and on.
For the past 30 years, number one best-selling author, counselor, master Life Coach, minister and international speaker David Essel has been helping people to redirect their thoughts, and to eliminate those that are irrational in nature through a variety of special techniques.
Below, David shares his experience of the past 30 years and how he helps people to stop the mind chatter, that can destroy self-confidence, self-esteem and more.
“When I played basketball at Syracuse University, I remember researching for techniques to help to block the negative thoughts that would come to my mind, if I made an errant pass, allowed my player I was defending to get past me, or maybe I missed a free-throw, and I was an excellent free-throw shooter.
In one of the techniques I read about back in 1974 believe it or not, was something that I now refer to as “the cancel technique.“
In means, that when you have a negative thought or doubt pop into your mind, that you just say the word cancel right after that, in order just start fresh again, to not allow the last play, the last missed shot to negatively affect the rest of my game.
I had no idea at the time, that I’d be preparing myself to use cognitive behavioral therapy with my clients as I moved on to work in the world of sports psychology, and then general counseling, as well as my work for years as a minister.
We describe cognitive behavioral therapy a little different then a lot of the text book versions, and it’s really helped my clients over the past 30 years to get a good grip on what it is, and how it works.
As we explain it, cognitive means mind, or thoughts… Behavioral means taking action… And therapy equals change.
So what we’re dealing with cognitive behavioral therapy is that we’re recognizing a thought that’s inappropriate, we are taking a physical action step, in order to create change, more peace of mind or more confidence.
Does that make sense?
And then we added one of the oldest techniques of cognitive behavioral therapy, the rubber band technique, where we instruct Clients on how to use the rubber band immediately after they have the negative, obsessive or doubtful thought pop into their mind.
So it’s a four step process:
Number one. Recognize the inappropriate thought.
Number two. Snap the band on your wrist until it stings.
Number three. Say the words “cancel that thought.“
Number four. Say the words “I am free.“
Because pain processes in the sensory cortex of the brain, it makes it the perfect technique to use, the pain from the sting of the rubber band is going to register in the brain. And guess what else Registersin the brain?
Your feelings or thoughts of fear, doubt, insecurity and more also originate in the brain.
So here’s where it gets interesting: if you’re willing to follow the process I listed above every time after you have an anxious thought, a compulsive fight.....Overtime the brain wakes up and says “every time we have this doubt we experience a sensation of pain, let’s remove that thought of doubt.“
And before you know it, the anxiety about driving in traffic, or the worry about a bill due in 60 days, or fretting over the fact that your child will be going off to college in a year… Starts to diminish greatly.
I have worked with compulsive over eaters, that once we instituted cognitive behavioral therapy with the rubber band technique on a daily basis, as well as other journaling and writing techniques, they saw a huge decrease in their desire to eat compulsively.
I’ve worked with doctors from all over the country, who are having trouble with their staff, and the doctors themselves are walking in to the hospital every day frustrated, in advance frustrated… Which is the perfect place to use CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy.
One such client, a physician with a staff of 10 people, would start to get anxious as he pulled into the hospital parking lot every day because he was so unhappy with the performance of several of his team members.
So instead, he sat in the car, snapping the band and following the four points that I mentioned above, until the anxiety was almost at zero.
After 30 days of doing this one exercise every day in the car before he walked into the hospital, the whole attitude and mood of his department shifted dramatically!
The negative energy that he was carrying into the hospital, was left behind him, after he did the CBT. Obviously, when the anxiety or frustration is no longer carried into the building, his staff is going to react to him differently. Which they sure did.
If the rubber bands you’ve been using have been snapping too quickly, there is an incredibly effective tool called “the huna band“, which was made specifically for cognitive behavioral therapy.
The huna band, created by a company in Hawaii, is extremely durable and can last for months on your wrist. You can find them at www.hunabands.com
Cognitive behavioral therapy will help with any negative, compulsive, thoughts that are holding you back in life, but you also may have to do some other types of work along with cognitive behavioral therapy in order to fully shatter the thoughts that are holding you back.
In my counseling work, I will also give people writing exercises on top of the CBT, journaling and exercises that they will do throughout the week so we can get a better idea of what’s creating the confusion, the doubt, the anxiety and more.
The combination of the writing exercises we give, with the cognitive behavioral therapy rubber band technique, have been found to be incredibly successful with over 98% of my clients over the past 30 years.
It works, if you work it. “
David Essel‘s work is highly endorsed by individuals like the late Wayne Dyer, and celebrity Jenny Mccarthy says “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement.“
He is the author of 10 books , four of which have become number one bestseller’s.
His work as a counselor and master Life Coach has been verified by organizations like Psychology Today and Marriage.com has verified David as one of the top relationship counselors and experts in the world.
For more information all David does please visit www.davidessel.com